If you’ve been on this Substack journey with me then you know I am the self-examining type. I am forever pondering and processing, and releasing and rejoicing. I think I could have given Socrates, Plato or Aristotle a run for their money at the local Greek bar (or at least annoyed them a lot with my hypotheses). The only downside of this is the potential for rumination, a talent I have previously mastered but have abandoned more and more as the years go on.

At the end of 2023 I wrote about the top things I learned, and I would like to make this an official tradition! Approved? Approved!

I think it important and vital that we archive our existence (both personal and collectively). And I know not all of us like to do it publicly (I too keep a journal), but for me, putting some of it on the internet is a way of saying: I too was here.

So without further ado, here are the top lessons 2024 brought to my classroom:

Yari’s 2024 Syllabus

1. Unraveling like a fruit rollup. Coming back from my travels I thought I had overcame American ideals around career and public persona. I quickly found myself trying to elbow my way back into a corporate job. I got caught up in a mirror maze that made me question my worth and ability. Was I competent? Did I no longer bring value? DID I NO LONGER BRING VALUE. Could you believe that question? As if my worth as a human is solely based on title and stock options. This country is nuts. 2024 was as difficult for me mentally as 2020. The ups were high, and the downs were so fucking low. I have so much compassion for Yari of 2024 because she had to crawl her way out of a true mental mine field (again). Eventually I understood that what was being asked of me was to surrender my past so that a new future could come into clarity. Unraveling led me to trust that the net would appear if I was bold enough to take the first step.

2. Got closer to my grandmother, the capricorn. Mi abuela Thelma was born in 1935 and she is tough AF. She told me that when she was around nine years old she defiantly told her mother that she was going to school. My great gramma made her a uniform out of a potato sack and off she went. Whatever you think is hard about life, she’s lived it 10x worse. Needless to say, I’ve never allowed myself to be too soft around her. But this year changed that. When I was having one of my hardest weeks I called her and broke down, assuming she would give me some tough love. Instead I was met with care and kindness. I don’t mean to sound dramatic but that healed something in my root system. I love that lady. I pray 2025 continues to bring us closer and softer with each other.

3. The return of male friendships. I really believe that what you seek seeks you. I started the year thinking about how I used to have so many male friendships in my teens to twenties, and how in my 30s those had dwindled. And this year a small but mighty flurry of male friendships have sprouted. I had 1:1 sessions with men whom I’ve been cool with in group settings for many years, but never sat solo over lunch or a glass of vino to get to know on a personal level. And 2024 changed that. From family, to career challenges, it was fulfilling to be surrounded by men who were present for our conversations, vulnerable and who did not try anything funny with me. One of my favorite memories of this year was spending 48 hours with my best friend Kozza and our mutual friend Mamadi. We simply existed. Laid around the house, watching music videos and rap battles (the latter being their choice). Making fun of one another. Debating the existence of billionaires. And eating yummy food. I get emotional thinking about how hard I smiled driving home that first night. There are many things that make living magical, and friendships are at the center of that. (PS - this article about how unstructured hangs are a lost art, and why we should bring them back , drives home my sentiments around that hang with those two goofballs).

4. New women entered the chat. Female friendships also had a big moment in 2024! Eleven new women entered my life. Well some I knew from prior, but very loosely. As we know, friendships require tending to. So I had to make reciprocity a practice. There were quality 1:1 hangs, texts, voice notes and memes. I don’t know if any will convert to long lasting deeply intimate friendships, but, it’s been really wonderful to be open to the possibility. My Hufflepuff is showing huh? :)

5. Less is more. In 2023 I went on 19 first dates. In 2024 I went on seven. I doubled down on what I wanted and did not want (men with children). I was faster with saying no, and quicker at letting go what was clearly not in alignment with me. This was the first year where I didn’t do things for the plot, and where I accepted each of those men as they were. There was no suffering, there was no heartbreak. There was just acceptance and moving on.

6. Tarot & astrology takes off! I studied and practiced both mediums for my own self-development, and offered it to clients. Leading me to read for 45 people! I truly never thought I would get paid for this, but it’s been such a gift to guide others through difficult times using these tools. From breakups to friendship changes, I’m very grateful to my clients and their referrals. I look forward to doing many more readings in 2025! (PS - if you’re interested, or want to gift it to someone, you can learn more about my offerings here)

7. My neck, but mostly my back. All I am going to say is, daily stretching is important and so is sleeping on a pillow that does not elevate your neck so much that you end up with chronic pain all summer. Late 30s hits different.

8. A trip around my cervix. When I had a full time job I used to donate to Planned Parenthood, and in 2024 that generosity came back ten-fold. I know most American’s think of it as a place where women get abortions (as they should if that’s what they want!), but PP has so many other life saving offerings. Their practitioners were kind, competent and straight the point. And my cervix and I are healthier for it. A gentle reminder to be up to date with your pap-smear.

9. I definitely want kids, but not if I have to do it solo. GURL. I was asked to look after my best friends boys (an honor to be clear!), and I confidently said yes. For a week I woke them up, got them ready for school and daycare, made sure they ate, were bathed and had their homework done. I read to them, played hide and seek, and also had to be stern tia when rules were not being followed (that was hard). Playing parent for a week taught me that in one day you can go from not being liked, to being loved on so hard you cry about it as you get into bed. Kids will really trigger AND humble the sht out of you. I very much look forward to being a mom, but I absolutely will not do it without the proper resources and support. I’m on my Charlotte York from here on out.

10. Is that Dominic Toretto? Nah, it’s just me guys! 2024 was the year I learned how to talk to a mechanic without a man present to represent me, and found the best price for the services I needed. This was a reminder that knowledge really is power. Researching what my car needed and understanding why those parts were important gave me agency on a different level. Thank you to my friend Helen’s parents who are retired mechanics for validating my feelings, and thank you to ChatGPT for giving me a script that helped me feel confident when calling around for pricing. I now know what control arms with bushing are, no big deal.

11. Back to leading rooms. During the Spring Equinox, and with the support and collaboration of my co-conspirator & friend Deb, I put together a workshop on manifesting through life auditing and planning. My friend Jordyn started the day leading attendees through mediation and yoga, and then I had them do individual and group work. It was a call back to my work at theGIRLMOB, and a nod to my coaching certification. Despite feeling nervous about leading a room again, it was satisfying to be in a teaching setting and to bring people together. Helping others continues to be a through-line in my life, I hope to always be able to offer that.

12. Perseverance through fear and self-doubt. Think of the first thing on this list, and know that despite all that… I pushed through. I got over my awkwardness around pitching myself for work and my discomfort in cold-outreach to people and brands. I got cozy with rejection or straight up silence. I said no to job interviews because the roles didn’t feel right despite my scarcity mindset gnawing at me. I learned how to be a consultant with ad agencies, non-profits and individual clients. I hustled but not at the cost of my physical or mental health. I remembered who the TF I am, and stopped eating humble pie. I planted seeds that I pray light up the path of 2025. A path where I am highly paid (on time) for doing work I love, no matter how short or long the projects are. And most important, may it nourish my own endeavors, because I have big ones to fulfill.

With these 12 learnings in mind, I dedicate Christina Aguilera’s Stronger to 2024.

Onwards <3

What did you learn from last year? Please share, I’d love to congratulate you on it!

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Wishing you a transcendent 2025, full of prosperity and inner wisdom.

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